17A- Elevator Pitch No. 2
Reflection on elevator pitch 1 feedback:
I received mostly positive feedback except for the fact that
I spoke very quickly and maybe tried to include too much information in my
pitch. I do not find any of this feedback to be wrong and have taken it into
consideration while videoing this next run of my pitch. I have tried to slow
down and instead of expanding tremendously I included just what I thought would
get my product across.
What I changed:
I have added a statistic in the beginning that I believe
helps get my point across that there is a problem with pushy employees. Also, I
took out a lot of my explanations out and substituted them with short
statements that describe the unmet need and my solution and some details on my
solution.
Attached is my new elevator pitch!
Please leave feedback, I
am open to all of it!
Hi Brianna,
ReplyDeleteWell done with your elevator pitch! Here is some feedback: I would highly suggest that you try to shorten the time between the start of the pitch and the introduction of what your product is. It took about a minute, during which time I got confused and was unsure where it was going. I know that it is important to frame the situation, but I would work on condensing it to make it as short and sweet as possible. In addition, I'd consider using less hand gestures, as it can be distracting to the viewer. Keep up the great work!
Hi Brianna,
ReplyDeleteNice job on your elevator pitch! I liked how in the beginning of the pitch, you included statistics that support your product. That is always a smart thing to do, as it helps the listener understand more, and it makes you look professional. I felt your pitch was straight to the point, and easy to follow! Great job.
Hi Brianna. I really enjoyed your elevator pitch. You did a great job with the attention grabber in the beginning. Using statistics seems to give your pitch more substance and drawers to viewer in. I thought you pitch was clear and well thought out. I have to admit, I too, had to continually remind myself to slow down while recording my speech because I was talking too fast. Great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Brianna!
ReplyDeleteI liked your pitch, both pitches you did were very engaging and I could really tell you believed in the product you were selling. I think I personally preferred an attention grabber that dealt more with me emotional response to annoying salespersons, rather than a statistic showing this is a problem. Maybe a combination of the two could be where you state a scenario that gets the person interested with a story that evokes frustrated emotions from past experiences and then add the statistic so people know they're not alone in their anger. Great work!